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How to Quit Facebook Without Actually Quitting Facebook
With all the privacy issues surrounding Facebook, many people are considering quitting the site altogether. If you're not ready to take it that far, here's how to avoid the privacy breaches without completely deleting your account and losing touch with your friends.
Photo by Ludovic Berton.
Should I Quit Facebook Altogether?
We've all had that one friend who deactivated his/her Facebook and was never seen again, because no one could establish contact. As if the telephone, email, and IM were never invented, many people are at a loss as to how to contact you if your Facebook isn't an easy click away. Even if the situation isn't quite that dire, Facebook is still how a lot of people keep connected, and severing that connection completely is a big deal.
But now, privacy-minded folks have many legitimate reasons you should quit Facebook (or reasons you should but can't go through with it), the same thing is on everyone's mind: Is the grief of quitting worth avoiding future privacy breaches?
The Less Extreme Alternative
Luckily, there is another, more middle-of-the-road option. That's not to say this isn't still extreme—this isn't for the faint of heart. It isn't a tutorial about how to change your privacy settings. This is a tutorial on how to create the most minimalist Facebook profile possible, with as little information on yourself as possible, to be used only for communication between you and your friends. You won't be able to do much on the site; you probably won't even visit the site that often. This is not for people who want to continue using Facebook; it is for the people who are ready to up and quit tomorrow, but don't want to miss out on the next party just because they care about their privacy. So if you're really ready to give up wall posts, comments, Farmville, and fan pages, here's how to proceed without falling off the face of the Earth.
Create a Disposable Email Address for Your Account
We've talked about disposable email addresses before, and most people probably already have one. (The idea being that if you create a second email address for free and sign up for the sketchy sites with it, you won't have to deal with spam in your main account later on.) With all the bugs and privacy gaffes surrounding Facebook, it has certainly become one of those sites you could call sketchy.
With this email address, you can also set up notifications for messages and event invites and get all that by email (so you don't ever have to actually "check" Facebook), and even forward it to your main email account. That way, you won't have to check this separate one, but if something ever happens (like Facebook making your email public for 30 minutes), you can delete the disposable address, make a new one, link it with Facebook, and not have to deal with the spam forever. You can use any service to do this, but I'd personally just make a new Gmail address separate from my regular Google account, sign into it using Private Browsing mode (so you don't sign yourself out of your regular Gmail), set up the forwarding filters, and forget it. (To set up forwarding, just log into your disposable account, click Create Filter, and set the filter to forward any email
From:facebookto your real account. If things get ugly, you can always turn the filter off.)Create a New Account and Transfer Your Friends
Technically, this part is optional, but I also think it has the biggest impact on how the rest of your experience will pan out. You could just edit all the information on your current account, but if you make a new one and delete the old one you'll have a completely clean slate. You won't have any posts lingering around anywhere, no personal information for the taking and no photos tagged of you. Plus, this is prime time to get rid of all your friends that you don't need. Do you really still need to be Facebook friends with that girl you met at that party that time? Didn't think so.
This process is actually quite simple, especially because you have a new email address as created in step one. Log out of Facebook and create a new account using that email address. Don't enter any information, and for now, don't make any new friends except with yourself (you'll need to friend your old account for this to work smoothly). Bask in the glory of that clean, privacy-filled profile, and then log back into your old account and accept the friend request to your new one. Alternatively, open up a second browser and use one for your old account and one for your new account, just for this process—you'll be switching back and forth a lot.
Conveniently, Facebook will then ask you to suggest friends for your new account (if not, you can do so by visiting your new account's profile page from your old account). This is the part of the process in which you'll transfer over the friends you actually want with one fell swoop—no spending hours searching each and every one of them out. Go through the entire list of your friends and check off the ones you want to keep. It won't take nearly as long as you think it will, I promise. Click Send and then move over to your new account. All those suggestions will be pending friend requests that you can run through quickly and add each as a friend (again, it looks like a tedious process, but shouldn't take too long) and you'll have all the friends you need.
If you want to hold on to your old account during the transition, that's fine, but the point of making a new one is to delete all the old stuff, so when you're ready, go ahead and delete (not just deactivate) that old account. It'll try to tempt you into staying by showing you pictures of your friends, but you can press continue without guilt knowing you're still going to (mostly) be around.
Turn Off the Wall on Your Profile
There are a few privacy settings we need to tweak on the new account, so hit "Account" in the upper left hand corner of your window and click Privacy Settings. The first area we'll venture into is "Personal Information and Posts" to turn off the wall. This way, you won't have your profile covered with the stupid things your friends say; it'll just be your very barren news feed.
Everything else here can stay the same; you don't need to make anything else private. You aren't going to be making any posts, you aren't going to be filling out information, and you aren't going to be uploading photos, so no need to cover them up. Again, keep in mind—this isn't about changing privacy, this is about quitting unecessary Facebook activity, so it doesn't matter what these privacy settings are. They're just going to go public again after the next redesign, so why mess with them now?
Hide Your Email Address
Next, head back to your Privacy settings and go to "Contact Information". You could add more info here, like your phone number, if you want your friends to have easy access, but we've already seen how Facebook can make information public, even unintentionally. That's why we created the junk email address back at the beginning of this process. I'd just leave it all blank.
Down next to your registered email address is the privacy setting for who can see it. Click on it and hit customize. In the dropdown at the top of the popup window, choose "only me" and click save. Your email address is now hidden from everyone, including your friends. If you want to make it visible to them, you can—sometimes people get in a bind and may want to contact you via email with something that physically can't be send via Facebook message—but again, it's just a junk email address. You don't want your friends actually thinking that's your address, because then you have a lot more work to do if you ever have to trash it and get a new one as mentioned above. Just keep it a secret.
Hide Media Tagged With Your Name
As of right now, you can only keep tagged photos and videos out of search results and off your profile. There is currently no way to actually prevent people from tagging photos of you. With this setting, people won't be able to see photos of you from your profile page, but if they get to the picture by other means (by, say, looking at the actual album or linking to it from the profile of someone else tagged in it) they will still see your name on the photo. Yes, it's a glaring omission from the privacy features in Facebook, but it also doesn't matter much. Unfortunately, the responsibility does and will always have to lie with your friends that are uploading pictures. Facebook will never be able to stop them from uploading a picture of you, and they'll never be able to stop that person from tagging that photo with a name, any name (including yours), whether or not it is linked to a profile. But even if it does, your profile is completely empty. What's the difference between it linking to your empty profile and being unclickable text? The only fool-proof solution to the photo tagging problem is to kick your friends in the shin if they post embarrassing pictures of you. Or, you know, get some more mature friends.
To stop tagged photos from showing up on your profile, though, go back to Privacy Settings and hit "Friends, Tags, & Connections". Edit the "Photos and Videos of Me" setting just like you did in the last step so only you can see the tags, and save the settings. This will delete the link to "photos of you" under your profile picture.
Hide Yourself from Facebook and Google Searches
You can tweak this next step to your liking. You probably don't want your profile showing up in Google, but if you want people to find you on Facebook you might want to stay in those search results (since people won't be able to find you through activity on your friends' walls, because there won't be any). At the same time, you may wish to have complete control over who you become Facebook friends with, and that's fine too. In Privacy Settings, hit up the "Search" section and uncheck Public Search Results. Set your Facebook Search Results to whatever you want the same way you did for photos.
Lock Down Applications (Just In Case)
This is the one area where I would just make everything as private as possible. You never know what those darned applications are going to do, and while you're not going to be running around Facebook installing anything, you can never be too careful. I wouldn't even recommend you stay logged into Facebook while you browse the web, since we've all seen they're always watching you. Under Privacy Settings, head to Applications and Websites and go nuts. Edit what your friends can share about you and what you can share about your friends down to nothing, and set your activity visible only to you. Again, keep in mind that even if applications were to share your information—you don't really have any information to share, so you're probably safe. The darned things are just so annoying that I'd like to lock them down as much as possible.
I'd also go into notification settings (under Account > Account Settings > Notifications) and turn off any notifications having to do with applications. In fact, while you're there, you might as well turn everything else off except for messages, event invitations, and (if you want) photo tagging, because you won't be doing much else on Facebook, so there's no reason to clutter up your inbox. Every once in a while, it's probably a good idea to log in and clear all your unnecessary notifications, but other than that, you should be able to get the few necessary features to notify you via email.
While I'd like to say you won't have to pay attention to Facebook's privacy gaffes ever again, that just isn't the case. With each redesign, you'll want to do a quick scan of either the privacy settings, policy, or just the blogosphere to see what fresh new hell Facebook unleashes, but in general, no matter how much of your information they try to share, there isn't much on this minimal profile that can get out there. There are a few things Facebook will always have on you, such as your email address and list of friends, so these are the important things to check up on. But if you don't have anything else on your profile, it's hard to see how applications taking information from your profile is going to be a big disadvantage if there isn't anything on it to take.
Your life won't be completely free of Facebook drama, but it will be significantly easier since you won't have to pour through how-tos (like this one) trying to figure out how to get everything set straight again. It should be a pretty easy process from now on. And, best of all, your friends can't complain about you being "hard to get a hold of", and you won't miss out on the next gathering just because the invitation went out on Facebook. To be perfectly clear, though: I'm not saying this is what everybody should do. If you're not violently furious with Facebook (I'm personally not), let it go. But, if you are seriously thinking about quitting, I think this is a set-up to consider, if you haven't already. If you have, be sure to share your tips for a minimalist Facebook in the comments.
Send an email to Whitson Gordon, the author of this post, at whitson@lifehacker.com.
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Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.So there's a reason why Giz/Lifehacker/kotaku/io9 are in my applications list? :P ReplyWhitson Gordon promoted this comment
I miss the old days when you had to be in college to use Facebook. It was really comforting to know that the doors were shut to anyone. The decline of Facebook can be linked back to the day it opened it's doors and essentially became FaceSpace. Reply
you even used the same picture as downloadsquad to do an article about the same thing but a day later‽‽‽ just load their site in an iframe, it will be much easier to rip them off that way.Whitson Gordon promoted this comment
I thought I would just throw in the following caveat to completely deleting your facebook account: if you don't own your identity then it's up for grabs.It's not that hard to pretend to be someone else on Facebook, and when you're not in it there is no way to police impostors. The British documentary, Erasing David, goes into great detail on this matter. After the film's director deletes his facebook account, private detectives create a dummy account with his name and start friending his colleagues. Some fell for it, and divulged info otherwise unavailable.
This is an extreme example, but I don't really think it's wise to opt out entirely. If anything, the ideas in this article are the best of both worlds in that you can render Facebook private once again while controlling your identity.
For more about Erasing David, which deals with the issues hat would make one want to opt out of FB, you can listen to a chat I had with him in March at SXSW:
djbender promoted this comment
Your Facebook Privacy Workaround is a 2-3 page manual on how I go about protecting my information from a company that should, by default, protect my information and not whore me out like a 17-year old truck stop hooker.Don't you see anything wrong with that? Reply
Whitson Gordon promoted this comment
There are several comments to the tune of "well duh, if you put your information online, you should expect it to be public". I kindly disagree.Facebook provided an agreement ensuring privacy, and controls to ensure you only shared what you wanted to share. Over time, they went back on their word and began resetting privacy settings when they made changes, and opening new things up to the world.
I would think explicitly setting up my privacy settings should give me a reasonable expectation that my information would only be displayed to those I have set up to see it.
The problem isn't the people that have correctly set up their privacy settings, the problem is Facebook actively undermining your privacy wishes. Reply
Whitson Gordon promoted this commentEdited by Flail at 05/14/10 11:25 AM
Transferring friends requires all of them to reapprove. Good luck with that. ReplyWhitson Gordon promoted this comment
I guess I am not "getting" how to use Facebook correctly, but my issue is the "single layer" nature of the beast. Why in the world would I want a service where I interact with my insane friends, my conservative boss and my Mom in the same environment? I have old high school and college buddies and my brother's 10-year old daughter all thrown in the same mix? Instead of "Friends", it needs "Family Friends, Work Friends, Friends from that project I am working on with them" etc. These different categories of friends need to be completely isolated from each other.Guess I don't get it, but to me this seems like a useless service in general unless you only have one kind of "Friend". Reply
A note on people tagging you in images: you will be notified when you are tagged, and you can delete those tags by visiting the photo: there will be an option to delete any tags of you under that photo. It looks like this:In this photo: John Doe (photos | remove tag) Reply
Whitson Gordon promoted this comment
Guys, differentiate between friends, family and acquaintances... by creating Lists and associating them with Albums and Status see etc...
I agree, FB isn't that simple anymore and it is dangerous to just sign-in and get exposed! people like children and wifes...can get into trouble!
I agree too with some of the above solutions, but no need to cancel your account, just restrict it th eway you should.
If you cannot get technical, then delete it :)
Regards ReplyWhitson Gordon promoted this comment
One problem with the disposable email option, unless you create a completely new account they still hang on to your old email address.I joined facebook when you had to have a legitimate university email address but changed it to my "throw away" email address as soon as I could. However, recently when I changed my password they emailed both address and mentioned in the message they contact "All emails that have been associated with your account." Reply
Holy shit: [www.pcworld.com]I just went to my facebook application settings, and saw a bunch of apps that I didn't authorize. WTF facebook!! Reply
Edited by monsterblues at 05/14/10 9:57 AMmonsterblues approved this comment
As others have said, this will last until the next"update."The bigger point is, if you're going to go through so many hoops and you're going to hide all of your data from practically everyone, maybe a "social networking" site isn't for you. Reply
Whitson Gordon promoted this comment
I've been setup like this since the beginning! But every time there is there is a security policy change, gotta go back and check. ReplyWhitson Gordon promoted this comment
I recently wiped my profile info (fav band, book, movies, etc) to keep it very minimalistic. However, the iPhone Facebook app still shows all the info prior to removal! I've check both the regular web and mobile web pages and they don't show those field. Yet, the iPhone app still does? Any ideas Likehacker-land? ReplyWhitson Gordon promoted this comment
On the last Facebook topic (gizmodo), everyone said you should make a topic outlining good privacy techniques. Now you make that topic and everyone says its rediculous.There's just no pleasing us. Reply
Whitson Gordon approved this comment
People should be aware that deactivating your account doesn't actually delete anything. If you don't believe me, deactivate your account and then try to login again. ReplyWhitson Gordon promoted this comment
How do I quit my job without actually quitting?
I want to make sure my paycheck can stay in contact with me but I'm getting really tired of them wanting to know what I'm doing all day long. ReplyWhitson Gordon promoted this comment
I think that all of this can be avoided with one simple maneuver. Make your facebook name your first and middle names, not your first and last names, and never use your last name anywhere on facebook. That's what I've done since day 1 for my account... had it since 2004, and I think it provides relative privacy. No one who I don't want to find me can find me. It does come with one negative, you generally have to seek out friends, because they probably won't know who the hell you are. You should also use a disposable email that isn't linked to your last name in any way either. Google my first and last name, and you don't get a damn thing from facebook, and that's how I want it. ReplyWhitson Gordon promoted this comment
I've already limited my entire Facebook to friends only and removed every app I don't use... And the ones that are left aren't authorized to do anything unless I let it.If privacy becomes an issue after all that, Facebook can kiss my rear end goodbye. Reply
Whitson Gordon promoted this comment
If your privacy settings are marked correctly (ie all photo albums on "Friends only", the "what friends can share about me" boxes all unchecked), then isn't the only thing Facebook can get from your profile is your "Likes"? And maybe I want more information on the things I like and don't care who on the internet knows that I like beer or kittens or whatever? What is all this invasion of privacy stuff? Even if the "default is social" you can still change a couple settings and be mostly off the grid. ReplyWhitson Gordon promoted this comment
Thanks for the detailed write-up. I swear, I have to comb through these FB settings once a month because it is constantly changing. ReplyWhitson Gordon promoted this comment
I haven't deactivated my account yet but I have stopped using Facebook. I only use it now with chat (via Trillian/Adium) and if people want to send me a message but as a "social" tool there are just too many issue. I have no control.
If you, like me, have a lot of people using it as a way to keep in touch, you should read this article from lifehacker. Then read my next post on a promising new solution that should be out later this year...
My wife deactivated her account this week on Facebook Her explanation was simple, too much garbage. She had a core group of her best friends using it in the beginning but now it has spread to company sites, professional sites and friends that she hasn’t talked to since high school. It isn’t the same communication tool when you need to send everything through the public affairs department in your brain before posting to make sure you aren’t saying too much or offending someone. I’ve had more than one person ask that people not post anything questionable on their site because it is something “work” sees. My response was to remove said user from my friend list J. Sure there are restrictions and privacy settings but what is missing is the ability to create sub-groups so I can create a way to communicate – privately with certain people/groups and not worry about contamination of content.
While others are posting about Facebook taking over the web I find more people like my wife getting fed up with the garbage and limiting or dropping the service completely. What we need is a new communication tool that is open source and allows for more customization and user control. Email has been our communication tool for years but is starting to show its age.
The tool I’m thinking of would be aware of what communication methods area available to use for any contact and would choose the most appropriate method for the content I am sending. Why do I need to make sure that you have an account on Twitter, Facebook, FriendFeed, MySpace, LinkedIn, AOL IM, Yahoo IM, GTalk or any of the more than 100 other services out there? They are all sending bits over a data network. Calling all nerds (I use the term affectionately), please figure this out! Create an open source server standard that can allow users to communicate with any other service. There are only a few types to deal with. Text, Images, Audio, Video. Google already will auto-transcribe my Google Voice messages to text for me and email me. How hard is this really? Yeah, I know, monetization…
I wrote last month about how I’m getting all of my status updates in email using a new tool called NutShell. So far so good. No need to open Facebook and I can browse the updates and posts of my friends at my leisure. Do I think Facebook will disappear any time soon? No. Too many noobs out there willing to endure the torture of Farmville, most of them willing to share my information with this week’s latest time-waster app. I recently cleared 20+ malware and viruses off of a friends computer, the majority of those were through Facebook.
It’s up to the rest of us to find the better solution or develop one.
Even though I didn't buy one I got to play with one in person today and I have to say it significantly changed my opinion. The responsiveness was amazing. I was unprepared to see it react that quickly to anything I did. The unit at Best Buy didn't have that many apps so I can't say the "demo" was very complete but I saw enough to know that at some point I will own one.
The size was a better fit than I had expected. I was able to use the touch screen keyboard while holding it but for someone with smaller hands that could prove difficult. There are keyboards, docks, and other accessories so but those were also absent at Best Buy.
I still believe that the biggest impact will come from the fact that the platform (iPhone OS) is something that is so familiar with so many already. The larger format just brings a host of new options and enhancements. The MLB2010 app on the iPad was amazing. It added a lot more functionality to the app I am used to on the iPhone. The connection at the store was flaky so checking out websites wasn't very successful.
Waiting to hear other thoughts..
A few reviews to check out:
(Sorry if this is long winded - what do we call long-winded now when typing?)
Goodbye,
Dean Brady
